#088 Be independent

I hung out with my friends from Jamaica and England. I couldn’t speak English well. It doesn’t come up with my mind. I can’t help thinking in Japanese first and translating to English. I hate this feeling so bad. That reminds me my life in Canada. I couldn’t think properly and speak English. But the only thing I already figured out is the reason why I cannot speak English. That is because I don’t know what I’m thinking. I don’t know what I wanna say. I don’t know what I wanna do. That’s the reason. I didn’t lose my English as long as I’m so sure about what I wanna do. When I speak Japanese, I can use any words that I can cover up what I’m thinking. But English, no. I have the same feeling when I’m teaching. If I don’t know what I wanna teach, I cannot talk as usual. So all I need to do is to be sure what I really wanna do.